The Face of Cancer

I want to introduce you to some women I know.  Regular, every day women, just like you; just like me.  Women who share, or have shared, this diagnosis with me.  Women who inspire me to stare cancer in the face and not back down.  Women who have taken this stage of their lives as a challenge to cling to who they are and the faith they hold dear and not let cancer strip them of themselves.  

EMILY

I have yet to meet Emily face to face, but she and I text regularly.  She was diagnosed with HER2+ breast cancer at the beginning of June, just a month before me, and I was introduced to her through a friend right after my diagnosis (at the end of June).  She turned 40 in May and went for her first mammogram, only to learn she had breast cancer.  Emily is a 2nd grade teacher, mother of 2, and Pastor's wife.  She is staring into the face of cancer and choosing every single day not to let it steal her joy, her profession, or her family from her.  She has one round of chemo left before she will get to RING THAT BELL!!  

Emily after round #5 of chemotherapy and cancer targeted therapy

ALI

Ali and I have been friends for the better part of 10 years.  She is one of the most steadfast women of the Lord I have ever had the privilege to know.  Ali is a missionary, scholar of almost everything, an Oportinity Formulation Manager for NASA (whatever that means 😬😂) and has a side hustle as a consultant which will take her to Colorado next eeek. Ali was diagnosed with ER+/PR+, HER2+ (triple positive) breast cancer one month after me. (Yes, you read that right.  Emily, then me, then Ali, all diagnosed with very similar cancers, very similar tumor size, within two months of each other.) Ali is also an unmarried, working woman like me.  She is taking cancer by the horns, not letting it strip her of her independence or the career she so dearly loves.  

Ali and I.  We affectionately refer to each other as "cancer buddies."

STEPHANIE

Stephanie was diagnosed with ER+/PR+ breast cancer when her triplets (who are now 8th graders) were toddlers.  She went through chemo and a double mastectomy and then was blessed (and surprised haha!) with another daughter who is now in elementary school.  Her cancer did not stay contained in the beast. Stephanie is living with metastatic breast cancer and goes for regular treatments to keep the cancer at bay.  After hearing of my diagnosis, Stephanie called me immediately.  She talked me through it and calmed my nerves.  She told me "I may outlive Justin [her husband], or I may not.  But I choose not to live my life thinking about that.  I choose to live the best life I can for myself, my husband and my kids."

VAL

Valerie and I have been friends for  over 15 years.  She was with me through my accident and the loss of my son Ryan, and I was with her when she, at 35, was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer.  She had a DMX, hysterectomy, and reconstruction all while she had little toddlers at home.  Val has been cancer free now for over 13 years.  Watching her navigate a cancer diagnosis helped me walk through the loss of my son.  And now, all these years later, she is supporting me through my own cancer diagnosis.  She is a cheerleader for me, a sounding board, and a wealth of knowledge and experience.  She took her cancer, stared in it's face, and let it make her stronger, more empathetic, and more resilient than she already was.  She's a wife, a homeschool mom, holds a Master's Degree and will give you the shirt off her back.

BRENDA

My mom.  My sweet mom has been diagnosed with three different types of cancer, beginning when she was 35.  She had ER+/PR+ breast cancer at 55 and melanoma on her retina last year.  If I had never met any of the women I've introduced you to in this post, the strength my mom has shown in the face of her cancer would have been more than enough of an example to show me how to persevere in the face of trial.  Her cancer has helped her be able to reach people and mentor them through their own experiences so they can continue to have hope and not feel alone.  She's now using all of her knowledge and experience to help me and I couldn't me more grateful.

Let me be clear.  We ALL have bad days.  Each of the women I've told you about, including myself, have gotten mad, cried, taken extra naps, and maybe even thrown or broken a thing or two in our pain and frustration over this awful diagnosis. BUT we are fighters. We might get knocked down, but we don't stay there.  We stand back up firm on our own two feet, grit our teeth and stand a little stronger getting ready for the next blow.  We're women who stare in the face of something that wants to take out lives and yell a resounding NO at the devil who made us "sick." We lean into the God who made us and the God who saves us and let him do his work.  We ARE NOT quitters.  We are not the face of cancer; rather, we're women who don't shrink down when we are forced to stare it in the face. (And, just so you know, it really annoys me that I can't get this paragraph to justify to the left where it should be!! Haha.)

Thinking of all these women also makes me think of one of my favorite sections of Scripture.  In the book of Daniel, three friends were thrown into a fire because they wouldn't worship an idol set up by the king.  They told the king they wouldn't defend themselves because their God would do it for them, and he would surely save them from the fire.  What they said after this has stuck with me for my entire adult life: "But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold. you have set up." Let me say it louder for the people in the back: EVEN IF HE DOES NOT. There may be a day I ask God to save me and he, in his infinite wisdom, does not.  I believe I an say, for all the women I've described here, that we have this kind of faith.  Even if he doesn't  save us, we know he is still good.  And we know he's in the fire with us, until the end.